The Frantic Woman Times

The Magazine for Today’s Frazzled Women

August 17, 2001 Volume 1, Issue 1

A Word from Frantic Woman Founders, Mary Jo Rulnick & Judith Burnett Schneider

We extend a sincere, warm welcome to all our Frantic Woman Times subscribers! We’ve been overwhelmingly delighted with the positive support and interest you’ve shared with us and hope you’ll continue to do so. In this and subsequent issues, we’ll offer articles packed with do-able tips for improving your overly exhausting lifestyle and balance it with a few moments of escape from all that makes you qualify as one of today’s Frantic Women!

Enough said, for now! Let’s get to it!

Frantically,

Mary Jo & Judith

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In This Issue

Making Your Hectic Household “Homey”
Five Things to Remember When Kissing the Kids Good-bye
Ways to Spring into the New Fall Schedule
Contest: “You Know You’re a Frantic Woman When...”
New “Dear Frantics” Advice Column
Subscribers Poll (where you REEEALLY get to voice your opinion!)
Hot New Topic on our Message Boards
FWJ: The Frantic Woman’s Journal
Tell a Friend

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Making Your Hectic Household “Homey”

Let’s face it. You wake up planning to tackle that overstuffed closet or the ever-growing pile of mail that tends to accumulate on your kitchen counter, no matter how many times you clear it away. But then, the events of the day get in the way and when you roll back the covers at night, you seemed to have accomplished--well--nothing. So, not only do you feel tired and worn, but you feel guilty that your home doesn’t have the crisp clean look you’d like it to have.

And then you consider the alternative. Your friend’s house is always spotless, but you admit you’re not always comfortable there. It’s not really “cold”, but it’s just not “homey”. How can you find some happy medium: a) where you have access to all your “stuff”, but in some organized fashion, and b) where it’s clean but comfortable?

That’s easy! Use the practical approach. If you’re used to walking in the house and throwing your purse and keys on the table near the door, don’t force yourself to hang your purse in the closet and swing those keys onto the little key rack you’ve hung neatly in the kitchen. For us Frantic Women, that requires too much effort. You’re just too busy to take the time to walk one thing here and the other there. You need to get dinner going, pay a few bills and call your sister before she complains, once again, that you “never return her calls”.

So don’t fight it. If it’s by the door that your purse “wants” to be, then let it be! Pick up a decorative basket at a discount store or dust off your grandmother’s old serving bowl and place it on the table near the door. Now, not only do you plop your things where you want them to be, but they look good being there! You’ll be surprised at how many visitors will comment on your unique idea. “Gee,” they’ll exclaim, “I never thought of putting my purse in a bowl!”

And what about that drab decor or yours? It’s not that you haven’t wanted to redecorate, but who has the time OR the money? It only takes a few minutes to spruce up a room that seems to be calling for more attention. How? The rule is simple. Place things you already have where people wouldn’t normally expect them to be.

For example, you decide your living room needs some pizzazz. You’ve always had the couch against the wall when you first walk in. Consider moving it across the room, angled in the far corner. Place a live palm (or even an artificial plant) behind the couch. If the plant is small, elevate it so that it can be seen sprouting over the back of the furniture. Add some indirect lighting shining up at the plant and you’ve just brightened an otherwise dull corner. Spray paint a small sprinkling can and place it either on the table behind the couch (if that’s what you’ve used to elevate the plant) or on the floor beside the couch, where visitors can see it when they first walk in. If you want to get carried away, paint a small gardener’s shovel to match and toss beside it a pair of fresh gardening gloves.

The greens and gardening supplies suggest the “life” your room was in desperate need of.

For more tips on how to organize, visit our House page at http://www.franticwoman.com/html/house.html

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Five Things to Remember When Kissing the Kids Goodbye

Sometimes it’s tougher on you than it is on them, that first day of school. You feel mixed emotions of excitement for the kids and a twinge of sadness that, once again, the house will be empty. But especially for the reluctant child, the most important thing is for them to feel secure and comfortable as they venture out into a virtually new world.

Here are a few tips to remember when kissing the kids good-bye before school:

A. Signs of Comfort: Even if your child is in upper elementary or even high school, chances are they’ll have some anxieties about starting a new year. What they need from you, then, is comforting. Show you care by preparing your son’s favorite breakfast or packing your daughter’s favorite snack in her lunch. If she’s old enough to read and not too old to be embarrassed by signs of affection, scribble a quick note on her napkin or on a sticky note attached to her lunch money. A touch of home goes a long way on that first day.

B. The Outfit: No matter your child’s age, you’ll want to have some input on what he or she chooses to wear to school. To avoid heightening anxieties, try to take the positive approach. Tell your pre-teen that he looks more “cool” in the jeans that fit his waist a bit tighter because it shows his physique better. Let your daughter know she’s less likely to be written up (if the school has a dress code) with the cropped top that meets her pants at the waist, rather than the ones that reveals her pierced or unpierced navel. For the littler ones, be sure they are comfortable enough in the new pants and shoes to sit all day. A tight waist or flopping shoes will distract even the best of students. Most of all, tell them how great they look, just as they are heading out the door. That positive comment will give them the boost they need to feel confident the whole day through.

C. Ask about the Kiss: You want to find out from your child whether kissing her at the bus stop or in the school parking lot will embarrass her. Compromise with a quick peck on the cheek or a kiss in the kitchen before they get in the car. Stand your ground, though, and be sure to make the hug and kiss a part of the routine. Neglecting to do so will only widen the gap that continues to grow as your child does. Physical signs of affection are needed by even the oldest, most secure of children.

D. What Makes Her Anxious?: While getting ready in the morning, or even the night before, keep open lines of communication. Don’t make it an obvious prying session by saying, “Okay Honey, now we’re going to sit down and talk about what might be bothering you.” Instead, while you’re preparing dinner or passing by the bathroom where she’s applying her make-up, ask a few simple questions but be specific. “Is Mary in your Social Studies class, this year?” goes a lot further than “Are you having any trouble with friends?” Kids will respond more readily to a “safe” specific question, than they will about a general one for which the answer might be too revealing. This opens the lines of communication for now and for the future. Remember to keep this routine going as the year continues. You don’t want to allow your busy schedule to cause you to overlook one of your top priorities--the needs of your children.

E. Being there is ALL it takes: Even if your schedule normally doesn’t allow for you to see the kids off in the morning, make the time to be there for the first day of school and every so often, thereafter. The younger kids will savor your presence and the older ones will appreciate what you sacrificed to be there. Even if they don’t show it, in their hearts they know--they just know.

For what’s left of the summer and into the fall, read our Kids page at for ideas to brush boredom out of what little spare time you have: http://www.franticwoman.com/html/kids.html

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Ways to Spring Into the New Fall Schedule

It seems we shift from a busy summer schedule into an even busier one in the fall! Here are a few quick tips for making the adjustment a smoother one for you.

A) Add Bounce to Your Step: If all summer long you've been meaning to exercise more but never seemed to be able to squeeze it in, make a vow to do so in the fall. Every Tuesday morning, for example, schedule a walk to the store for a newspaper or a cup of coffee. If that’s not possible, hop on the tread mill for 20 minutes during Good Morning America three times a week. Whatever you choose, make it simple and doable. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to join a gym and take Advanced Step Aerobics twice a day, if that’s not what you’re used to. By being realistic, you might just find the energy to add that much-needed bounce to your step!

B) Schedule Something for Yourself: Pick up the phone and call a neighbor, a long lost friend you’ve been meaning to contact, or even your mom. Arrange to have lunch every other Friday for the months of September and October. That’s only four days to commit to and you’ll be ever-so glad you did! Adhere to the same time and place so you won’t have to call each other on Thursdays to confirm. This keeps the arrangements hassle-free. Let nothing else (short of a family crisis or emergency) come between you and your lunch date. If all goes well, you’ll be scheduling the same lunch outings for November!

C) Do a Favor: Just once in the next few weeks, do a favor for someone. It can be something as minor as offering to weed your elderly neighbor’s garden or helping your teenage son clean his golf clubs. Just make certain it’s something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. And don’t forget to pay attention to how you feel! The best part about helping others without being asked is the feeling it stirs within.

Read about how you can help a child in need with almost no effort at all by flipping to our Hope page at http://www.franticwoman.com/html/hope.html

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Contest: “You Know You’re a Frantic Woman When ...”

The crazy things that happen in a Frantic Woman’s life is the focus of our new contest! In 100 words or less, let us know at what point you REALLY realize you’re beyond frantic! Be specific so we can evaluate the true uniqueness of your entry!

Great prizes will be awarded including our Frantic Woman’s Pampering Basket!

Visit our Contest page to enter today at http://www.franticwoman.com/html/contest_.html

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New “Dear Frantics” Advice Column

Dear Frantics,

I am a single mother of a wonderful and busy two year old. I also work
full time in the military and attend college as a full time student! I find
that by the end of the week, heck, the end of the day, I am frantic. Can you
offer any suggestions to help me relax a bit!!!

Losing My Mind in Louisiana,
Heidi

Dear Heidi,

Ahh the life of a busy young mother. It’s tough enough to share the responsibilities of a home and family with a spouse, but when all the burden falls in your lap as a single mom, it can really be rough. And with trying to further your education while holding down a full time job, we’re sure you just can’t seem to get a break.

But exhale because there are a few simple solutions to ease your burden. But remember, no solution comes without some effort on your part. As always, you need to give a little to receive!

The first thing you can do is find a friend. And this doesn’t necessarily mean turning to someone you’re already close with. Keep your eyes open for a friend or acquaintance, especially in the classroom, who is in a similar situation as you are. There might be another single mom (or one who’s husband works odd shifts) who could use some help, too. Work your schedules so that you take classes at opposite times--and share the babysitting. While you’ll need to do your part by watching her child too, you’ll have the arrangements all taken care of for the semester, and best of all, it’ll be free. So you’ll save yourself the hassles of arranging for and paying sitters while benefiting from a built-in playmate for your two-year old. (As always, take the usual precautions to ensure this friend will be a safe care-taker for your child.)

A separate suggestion requires getting up in the morning just a bit earlier than you usually do. While this is not all that unique of an idea, it truly is a rewarding one. When a friend suggested this to us, we balked at cutting into those precious and few hours of sleep. But once giving it a try, we came to relish that 30 minutes or so spent sipping coffee, watching the morning news, scanning the headlines, answering email or just watching the sun rise. It sounds like a luxury your busy schedule can’t afford, but once you try it, you’ll come to relish that much-deserved start-up time. In fact, now we sometimes rise hours earlier than the rest of the family, just to expand the “our time” as a part of the daily schedule.

We wish you shared experiences with your newfound helper and a little quiet time to start your day!

Happy Early Rising,

Mary Jo & Judith

To read our previous "Dear Frantics" column in which JoAnne from Kentucky had the problem of an overly-prepared husband hopping in the car and beeping while she raced around the house each time they went anywhere, go to http://www.franticwoman.com/html/dear_frantics.html

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Hot New Interact Topic

Our Interact Page features message boards where frazzled visitors can post their concerns, interests, solutions and more! Take a moment to share your thoughts, whether grand or small!

This Issue’s Hot New Interact Topic: On Being Heard

Let us know when it is you feel least “listened to” by loved ones, co-workers, friends and family. It can be serious, silly, severe or slight. Have you come up with a silly or realistic solution to the problem? One thing we ask is that you keep it brief--so there’s plenty of room for readers to react and respond! Check out our story, then share your own!

Visit http://www.franticwoman.com/html/interact.html to express yourself and be heard!

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Subscriber’s Poll

Who said no one wants to know what you think? We’d love to tally your opinion, then announce the results on the Web site and in the next issue of The Frantic Woman Times. So don’t be shy! Let us know what you think!

This Issue’s Subscriber's Poll:

If given 30 minutes of free time, would you rather

A) Read a good book or magazine article?

B) Grab a cup of coffee with a friend?

C) Take a nap?

To register your opinion, send an email message to mjrwrites@aol.com with the word “Poll” in the subject heading. Don’t forget to type A, B or C into the body of the message. That’s all it takes to be heard!

After sending us your opinion, why not try to squeeze 30 minutes (or even 15) out of your day for doing just the activity you’ve chosen! You’ll be a better Frantic Woman for it! Good luck!

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FWJ: The Frantic Woman’s Journal

Journaling is all the craze now, but it truly is a therapeutic way to analyze, release and revive! In each issue of The Frantic Woman Times, we’ll offer a stimulating prompt to help you put the pen to the page. By keeping a Frantic Woman's Journal (FWJ), you’ll allow yourself to explore what annoys you, excites you, confuses you, invites you! Even if you don’t have the time or money to purchase a fancy new journal, grab an index card and fill it with your thoughts. Collect them in an envelope and, before you know it, you’ll have a mini-file on what makes you YOU!

This Issue’s FWJ Prompt: The Flower

If you had to choose a flower that best represented who you are, which would you choose? Why? Describe the details of the flower--the color, aroma, thickness of stem, depth of roots, etc. Are you in full bloom or still a bud? Do you have thorns or disease? Make a note of what focus your description has taken. Explain.

Now, don’t balk at such an abstract assignment. Take a deep breath and try to envision a flower that best represents you. Even if you feel silly at first, the words that spill out onto the page just might surprise you! Good luck!

If you feel like sharing, visit the “Frantic Talk” section of our Interact page and post your thoughts at http://www.franticwoman.com/html/interact.html

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Pass It Along!

If you know other Frantic Women who would undoubtedly benefit from receiving this newsletter, ask them to sign up online at http://www.franticwoman.com/html/newsletter.html or have them send an email message to jbswrite@stargate.net with the word “Subscribe” in the subject heading.

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Subscription

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